As September rolls in, it usually marks the start of a new school year for many families. It’s a season when homeschool moms, reenergized from summer, gear up for a fresh chapter in their academic journey. Just the other day, I found myself in a homeschool webinar, the kind where everyone was buzzing with excitement about the upcoming school year, and the opening question was, ‘What are you most excited about this coming year?’ I found myself staring at the screen, realizing I had no immediate answer.”
Scanning the chat for inspiration, I saw others passionately sharing their goals and dreams for the year ahead. It was heartwarming to witness their enthusiasm, yet I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of doubt creeping in. I thought over what we had planned, realizing that I don’t have an exciting new curriculum, because I love what we have. There are no new classes that we planned. Not even any new topics. For me September has always felt like the start of our “new year” but in reality we’re not typically starting anything new, just continuing where we are in our learning journey. As year-round homeschoolers, our “new” doesn’t always coincide with the beginning of September. My eldest, Connyr, started community college in August, which brought its own share of excitement and worry. But, after a couple of weeks, he found his rhythm, and it’s been smooth sailing since.
As the excitement in the chatroom grew, I couldn’t help but be drawn into a spiral of self-reflection, I mean come on, it inspired this blog post that I started mid-webinar.
The next question posed was, “What are your biggest worries for the year?” Once again, I found myself at a loss. The typical homeschooling stresses that used to weigh on my mind have dissipated. There’s no fear of the kids being behind, no anxiety about lesson planning or curriculum completion. The age-old questions of “Are we doing enough?” and “What about learning gaps?” no longer haunt me. I’m not worried about the kids not understanding things cause this is familiar territory and I know that eventually, they’ll get it. I’ve embraced that learning is a unique journey for each kid and things take the time it takes. No rush, no pressure.
Listening to the concerns shared by other homeschooling parents during the webinar, I realized that my absence of worry should be a relief. But of course, my brain likes to overanalyze. As my kids grow older and more independent, am I becoming less present in their day-to-day learning? Have I grown complacent? Over the years I’ve consciously narrowed in on what I feel is truly important to focus on and have let go of a lot of the traditional learning endeavors many homeschoolers and public schoolers do. But should I reevaluate and reintroduce more subjects?
The lack of either sensation (excitement or worry) feels really weird! I’ve never been in this position before. So I’m questioning, am I experiencing a new kind of burnout? Because this doesn’t resemble other burnout phases that I’ve gone through in the past. Most of the other times I’d been burnt out it was because I was feeling too much. Too much stress, being overwhelmed, too many things on my plate. This time it seems I’m feeling too little.
Yet, as I sit here writing this and reflect on our learning choices, I feel confident that each one of my kids is on the right path for them. I’m not entirely sure what this feeling signifies or what actions to take. Is it Burnout? Indifference? Mental exhaustion? Or perhaps it’s simply a result of years of homeschooling. So rather than a rant, consider this a reflection on the evolving nature of our homeschooling journey. I invite you to share your thoughts and feelings on this, as I believe our collective experiences can provide valuable insights and support for one another.
